I hate you.

I don't do it to be cool.
& I don't act like a fool.
I do it to get a way.
I seem to get away every day.
I've had a rough life,
& now I need to suffice.
I don't know what happened to you,
I thought what you used to say was true.
but now I know you're an ass,
& you really don't have any class.
I hate that you judged me,
we were never meant to be.
You never knew anything,
& now you left my heart aching.
I freaking hate you,
now and forever through.

Bestfriends Forever

You're over 5,000 miles away.
It sucks not seeing you everyday.
You are & will always be my bestfriend.
& it will never end.
We share so many memories.
along with similarities.
We've never even fought.
Do you remember all that candy we bought?
we were going crazyyy.
We ended up being super lazy.
I'll never replace you,
because our friendship will always remain true.<3

Being Alive.

I don't feel strong anymore.
I don't even know if it's worth fighting for.
I feel so ashamed by doing this.
I feel like I'm something they wouldn't miss.
I am so broken inside.
I am someone I'm still trying to find.
They say to stay strong,
but what if they're wrong?
I am so drained from these tears.
I can't keep living in this fear.
I will come out alive,
& for life I will strive.

I Can't Miss You.

They say people shouldn't dwell on the past.
But I remember everything even though it happened fast.
The image still burns in my head today.
Maybe if it wouldn't have happened, I wouldn've stayed.
I tell people i hate you.
But I can't do nothing but love you.
But how can I love someone who's caused me so much pain?
Up until 7th grade I needed counceling.
but the pain still hasn't drained.
I still think of why you did it.
Did you even give a shit?
I am your own flesh and blood!
I know you're sorry.
but do you even worry?
You can't even look at me, when I see you.
It'd make me feel better if I at least knew.
I wish I knew why you weren't ever there.
I feel like you didn't even care.
i know you're an alcoholic.
But that's no excuse to not a be a father.
Even when I'm your daughter,
You don't have the courage to speak to me
But I need an actual conversation please.
i still don't know what I'll decide when I'm eighteen,
but i don't think you'll ever change.
So I guess it's goodbye,
until you're no longer afraid.
I love you,
but I can't say I miss you too.

You(:

breathing heavily.
laughing constantly.
smiling a lot.
saying more than a thought.
See what you do?
It's all so true.
You're incredibly cute.
It's even hard for me to stay mute.
You charm me with what you say.
even when I'm down and grey.
I want to be with you some day.
Laying in bed with you.
not knowing what to do.
Kissing you before I go to work.
& leaving with a little smirk.
Seeing you when I go to bed.
& without you I feel dread.
I want to be by your side.
& I promise to never lie.
I'll be here for you,
& i hope you're here for me too.