I Can't Miss You.

They say people shouldn't dwell on the past.
But I remember everything even though it happened fast.
The image still burns in my head today.
Maybe if it wouldn't have happened, I wouldn've stayed.
I tell people i hate you.
But I can't do nothing but love you.
But how can I love someone who's caused me so much pain?
Up until 7th grade I needed counceling.
but the pain still hasn't drained.
I still think of why you did it.
Did you even give a shit?
I am your own flesh and blood!
I know you're sorry.
but do you even worry?
You can't even look at me, when I see you.
It'd make me feel better if I at least knew.
I wish I knew why you weren't ever there.
I feel like you didn't even care.
i know you're an alcoholic.
But that's no excuse to not a be a father.
Even when I'm your daughter,
You don't have the courage to speak to me
But I need an actual conversation please.
i still don't know what I'll decide when I'm eighteen,
but i don't think you'll ever change.
So I guess it's goodbye,
until you're no longer afraid.
I love you,
but I can't say I miss you too.